I was watching the Haunting of Bly Manor on Netflix and they said something that, excuse my cheekiness, haunted me! The character said that people often confuse love and possession and oh damn did that hit home for me! I went through a tough breakup in the past year and part of why it was unhealthy is I was trying to possess him above loving him. I thought our futures were very aligned, but we had different short term goals. I wasn’t able to accept his love for me without taking his actions personally. I wanted to change him and change his plans so he could fit into my plans. Now that I’m more removed from the situation, I am able to love him without trying to possess him. We do this not just with people but with physical belongings too. We continue to possess gifts that we don’t like when the love was already passed on through the act of giving. We store belongings of older generations, especially of those who have passed on, that aren’t our style or we have no true use for. It is not necessary to hold onto the item to keep the memory or love alive.
Let’s try focusing more on love and less on possessing!
Your turn: What area of your life are you confusing possession with love?